5 Second Rule

While we're on the topic of Daniel. I should also relate a tiny story about how your health matters.

I was retrieving a bunch of frozen chicken patties from the walk in freezer. I had opened the box to make sure it contained chicken patties. Satisfied that the box did indeed hold frozen chunks of dead chickens, I aimed to make my way back to the make table (where we made the pizzas etc). In order to do so, I have to navigate the slippery floors near the dishwasher.

Generally, in times of heavy patronage, this part of the floor is covered in a gray sludge which scientists have yet to classify, but that consists mainly of water, soap, pieces of half eaten pizzas, and human slobber (just a tiny bit).

Despite my efforts, I slipped and a few chicken patties tumbled into the primordial soup below. I didn't fall, but I did bend over, pick the chicken up, and toss them into the trash can. Then Daniel walked by and spied 3 pieces of chicken in the trash can.

"What happened to those?" He asked.

"They fell on the floor." I said.

"How long were they down there?" He said, knowing full well that we were standing in a lake of nasty toxic leftovers.

"I don't know, does it matter?"

Here comes the kicker.

"Yea it matters, if they are on the ground for less than 5 seconds, they are still okay."

I looked at the soggy frozen patties on the top of the garbage can in mild horror. He looked at me.

"Well, it's been in the garbage can too long now." Then he walked off.